Skip to main content

Bribing Crash Course - 15 Days (Full time)

In the turbulent times and uncertainty around, the only individuals, organizations and politicians that can manage not just to survive but flourish seem to be those that have gained unwavering support from other parties of social fabric. The proven method of securing this support is through bribing. It has become such a necessity that there is a need to frame a crash course in ‘Bribing’.

The bribing crash course will handle both aspect of it i.e. giving and accepting part. If you are offering a bribe then you should understand whom you are bribing and what amount you should offer. If you are accepting a bribe then it is important for you to know the best practices of accepting it and managing the accounts after it comes to this side of the table.

The topics that would/should be covered in this course are listed below:

1. Identifying the prey
It is very important to know the person, organization or party to whom you are approaching for hand-shake. You should study their past track record. If you are about to offer a bribe and find nothing fishy then there is great possibility that the party will demand you huge amount. This is simply because they have to manage and satisfy a bigger network. On the contrary, if you are accepting a bribe and find clean record from other party then as a thumb rule approach only if you find a strong weak point that you can exploit at later time (when things go wrong).

2. Operations
The complete process of bribing is exactly opposite to that of photosynthesis i.e. you have to operate all the time in dark. Nobody should know what’s happening. Then only you will get necessary oxygen to breathe. If it gets exposed then it is very likely that you will frequently appear on news channels and get covered in daily columns of newspapers.

3. Managing accounts
Irrespective of your role in the bribing process you will have to master at managing accounts. There are skilled CAs and CSs available for this but it is always good to understand things yourself. Those who are really really affluent can get exemption for this topic in crash course exam.

4. Networking
You can manage the operations quickly if you have good network with special category of people. People with double than average score in crime, job transfers and IT return filling are the members of this special category.  

As we are in the finalization of the course content we are not enlisting each and every topic but soon we will release it for you.

The total fee for this course would be 10% of the amount that you have bribed and/or siphoned to black economy in last five financial years. The duration will be 15 days full time. 


Amit Deokule said…
I am the one who needs money desperately...thanks for launching your plan of action over here like this! Where we can meet and how is the startegy? Can we meet somebody from CITI BANK or Satyam OR let me know if your know some sources? We can convene the meeting and proceed. Will motivate this idea and the fact that bribing ka jamaana hai bhai...gadi dheere chalao..koi aayega aur pucchega..kya rate kitna chal raha hai aajkal...beware of Bribing....Amit

Popular posts from this blog

Honeymoon - Part 1

The first thing that any couple does immediately after their marriage is go for a 'honeymoon'. It is almost 6 months since I am carrying tag of 'husband' but unfortunately could not go out with my wife. I didn't have enough leaves to go for honeymoon after my wedding. So we had decided then that we will have it in parts like Harry Potter movies. So this weekend we went for our first part of Honeymoon.
Saturday morning we left at around 9:00 AM for The Lake Weekend resort. This is the parking area of my building.

The resort is near Varasgaon dam. The route is Sinhagad road - Khadakwasala dam - Panshet - Varasgaon boat club. The picture taken while running besides Khadakwasla dam.

My wife, Meet, trying catch herself in portrait while I was driving my Pulsar 150 towards resort. She is wearing cap that my MBA college gave me when I went there to meet my juniors last year. 

It is a perfect ride on weekend if one loves beautiful scenery and enjoys cool breeze. 

On every tour …

Bride-Groom Selection Spreadsheet

Soon after entering in your mid 20's you will hear a word 'proposal' more often from your parents. In most part of the India the timing for bride/groom searching is decided by the parents for two reasons
Arranged marriages are still very popular hereAs you young boy or girl you will always feel that you too young to get married 
Many a times a final selection will be done based on a gut feeling of your parents and relatives. To base your decision on facts and figures I have created following spreadsheet. I personally think the selection that is going to impact your whole life should be made logically. 
In criteria or attribute column you can add up to 10 things and you can assign weighing factor to it in the adjacent column. Then you should go on replacing Name 1 to 4 with name of girls or boys your are considering as your would be. Now simply give marks to each girl and boy against each factor. The one you have with highest score should be the winner.

Click this link to ope…

Corporate e-Newsletter Initiative – How to go about it?

If you are thinking of starting up a e-newsletter activity at corporate level then below are few tips that might help you in the course. I have divided a newsletter activity in three phases viz. planning, construction and distribution.

Planning phase

1. Attention grabbing name

The name of the newsletter should grab attention of the audience. If your brand is highly recognizable in your business community then only use that name. If that is not the case then use any other name that will represent the aim of your newsletter. For example, if you are starting a newsletter for cloud services then have the name something as ‘Envisioning the Cloud’.

2. Decide your target audience

It is not always possible to have different newsletters for different segments of your market due to budget and resource constraints. In that case you will have to choose your first market segment that you will serve as a pilot campaign. Based on its success you can go on adding segments in current newsletter or sta…